How hard can it be?

  • Published
  • By Bill Morrow
  • 501st Combat Support Wing Safety Office
RAF ALCONBURY, United Kingdom --  If you're an Airman reading this, good. You're the audience I wanted. Let me ask a question: how hard can it be, I mean really, being a wingman how hard can be? Well in truth pretty damn hard, particularly if you're young. This isn't some romanticized version of air combat, this is going to be a tough-talking dose of reality (at least as I see it) and pointing the finger at why we fail at being a wingman. Being a wingman calls on you as an individual to step up and take care of your peers. It means keeping them from making the wrong decision, guiding them away from career or life-ending choices, acting as a restraint keeping them from the extreme, whatever the circumstances. How difficult can that be? In theory it's not difficult at all, step in, take charge, talk to them, show them the light, blah, blah. That works to a point, when it's fun and games, when there's no threat of social rejection, when there's no cost, but then what?

The group we're trying to reach are those high-cost insurance age groups of the 18-26's, the extended high schooler, or the college coming-of-age person - the risk takers. Those Airmen stretching the boundaries of their limits, to see how much they can drink before drowning in their own vomit. To see how fast this baby will go before losing it in a curve and center punching a tree. Anyone that's been a parent knows the difficulty in reaching this sub-culture of society.

Just because this article has the focus on youth, doesn't mean if you're older you're good - we fail to do the right thing just as often. Okay, I've tagged the youth of our service, but do the wrinklies perform much better with age, or is it that they're more skilled at deflecting accusation? Oh, I counseled him; paper, no I didn't do it on paper, it was informal. Trying to be a nice guy? Didn't want to lay paper on him because ... why?
We sit around wringing our hands in the angst of disbelief when we're told of the death of a co-worker. Too late, pity blaming ourselves, "I could have done something", well yeah, you could have but you didn't , so why didn't you? You didn't do anything because of fear. What are you afraid of, lots. You don't want to be accused of being a "rat", squealing out a dorm buddy to the first sergeant or commander, because that's how it'll be seen and not just by the victim but also by all the buddies and pals both of you know. Do you know why; because he's going to tell anyone that'll listen you "ratted" him out. You can't be trusted, you suck up. So the fear of social rejection, isolation and accusation is the penalty you'll pay because quite frankly the maturity of this group to recognize you're doing good isn't happening for you.

You're not a coward. As member of our Air Force if you're under 26 you've been at war since you took the oath, and if you're older then longer. You've probably deployed more than once. You've pulled escort, you've manned the gun turret. You might have been shot at, caught the blast from an IED, and all the while within an arms length of someone you might die for. So what's with the retreat from responsibility?

What can you do; man up or woman up as the case may be. Become the adult that this group of "peers" needs, lead by example - those stripes mean more than a paycheck. Tell your buds when you're sitting around crushing beer cans against your forehead you want them to do this for you. When you're out of control, stupid or similar adjectives of ignorance you want someone to take care of you cause' you don't seem to be able to. Gang up on you and take the keys. Go see someone in leadership with the authority to get your attention and give you a reality check. You might have joined the military to get away from your biological parents, but you've inherited a bunch more who aren't blood related.

It's really that simple, all it takes is courage and you've already proven you have that.