Learning how to communicate at Toys "R" Us Published Aug. 19, 2010 By Chief Master Sgt. Kevin Candler RAF ALCONBURY, United Kingdom -- Has lack of effective communication ever made you perform at a level less than Excellent? When it happens, several emotions kick in...frustration, confusion, and disappointment to list a few. That's how I felt one day at Toys "R" Us. A few years ago, my son and I went to the toy store to find him a special gift. Thinking it was a simple task to accomplish, I didn't ask any questions before we left and he offered nothing more than he was searching for a dinosaur. Upon walking in, we hit a promotional stand right away that displayed some of the monsters he was looking for. I thought, "this is too easy," and I was correct as Jake said the dinosaurs didn't look mean enough. Understanding it was his to choose, we went on. About three aisles later, we stumbled into the animal area and some other dinosaurs. "Jake," I said, "look at these...they are huge...you could wrestle with this one." He took a glance at them and quickly said they weren't the right size. "But Jake," I said as he rounded the corner and left me. In two more aisles came the remote control area, where of course, they had dinosaurs that walked, breathed fire, and did other tricks. "Jake, look at this one...how cool is this?" I asked. Before I could try and convince him anymore, he dismissed that dinosaur as being the wrong color. At this point, I was whining to my son...what a sight to see. However, after I gathered myself I heard my son scream from the next aisle, "there it is Dad." Oh boy, what a dinosaur it must be...after 10 minutes looking for one thing, I couldn't wait to see it. But to my surprise, it was a six-inch dinosaur, red in color, that didn't have any special features. I was disappointed, and as we walked up to the counter, beginning to get frustrated. But, you see, I wasn't frustrated because he selected a toy that wasn't as cool as the others (in my opinion). It dawned on me that if we would have communicated effectively prior to entering the store, I could have helped him find his gift faster. Apply that to our leadership and followership...ever experienced not being at the top of your game because you didn't communicate effective with your supervisor or your subordinate? I would submit we've all been there at one time or another, so the following are some tips to ensure we don't experience the same again. Supervisors: John Kline, in AU-24 Concepts for Air Force Leadership, points out that "the primary responsibility for communication in any organization rests with those in leadership positions, since subordinates take cues on how to communicate from those above them." With that: - Promote a climate that encourages feedback from subordinates...search out the bad news, not just the good - Listen attentively...do not dominate the conversation - Understand what the other person really means, not necessarily what is said - Respect, don't dismiss immediately, other people's views - Give direct, honest, critical, and frequent feedback - Leave the discussion only when you're certain confusion on expectations, standards, or goals does not exist All Airmen: Mr. Kline also articulates, "but not only is communication down the chain of command important, subordinates need to keep each other and their leaders informed." - Seek clarification when certainty is not obtained - Embrace the responsibility of communicating the good and the bad - Be a role model for others by communicating facts, not emotions In the end, we all have a mission to accomplish for our unit, Air Force, joint partners, and nation. Communicating effectively as a team is one factor that drives the Excellence required to remain a reliable force. I learned a lesson while searching for a dinosaur...if I would have simply talked and/or listened more effectively prior to beginning the journey, my task would have gone much smoother. The same lesson applies to each Airman throughout their career...communicate often and clearly, and we will continue to show enemies what Air, Space, and Cyber power can do. Airpower!